Hitting the Pandemic Wall?
A few days ago, I read an article from Elisabeth Lesser that made me feel so understood, that I started wondering if you are not feeling the same way. Elisabeth wrote that some days she nurses a feeling she can’t quite get a handle on. Is it worry? Impatience? Fear?
Months have passed until she finally could name that feeling: grief.
Sometimes I feel the same. And I know I am not alone. We all have lost so much. For some, the losses are big: the lives of loved ones, the family we can’t be with, our own health, jobs, the school for the kids, financial security, physical safety, mental stability. Some of the losses are more subtle: routines that keep us grounded, predictability, companionship, pleasure.
Anyway, she interviewed many people who had not only survived devastating loss but ultimately had grown wiser and stronger. She also talked with people who had not been transformed by the loss but had become bitter and defeated. What made the difference? Those who feigned strength or detachment in the face of profound loss shut down all of their feelings—not only grief but also resilience, hope, courage. Those who stayed connected to their feelings finally emerged—even if it took them a long time—able to forge a new, creative path.
Yes, you may cry, but tears are healing. Yes, you may go through valleys of self-pity and blame, but you will also climb up above all that, and your heart will grow in gratitude and peace. All you have to do is sit yourself down, maybe with a cup of hot tea, wrap yourself in a blanket, and shower yourself with tenderness and acceptance as you contemplate all the losses that have come your way. Honor them one by one; honor yourself for empty places the losses have carved out. Surrender to the emptiness; fill it with patience, dignity, love. We promise you that on the other side of a loss well-grieved, is new life.0 Like