We Dare to Fall Because We Have Learned to Rise

I love Brene Brown. She is probably my favorite author.

Every time I listen to her lectures or podcasts, I learn something new. It does not matter if I had already watched that specific piece; there is always something valuable that sinks in.

One of her memorable phrases is: “We dare to fall because we have learned to rise. When we deny our stories, that means they define us. We draw courage from failure.”  

How powerful and meaningful is that?

We lupies – suffer from an uncured, invisible chronic illness, have to be brave even when brokenhearted. We push forward and keep rising stronger and wiser after each flare. That’s how we roll.

We have learned we cannot control everything, not even our bodies, but we can manage our thoughts – our mindset.

Permission to Fail

That concept took a while to settle in for me. I have always been protective of my inner emotions and challenges. One may call it pride, but I’ve never liked to feel exposed, showing off my feelings or my weak side.

By reading Brené Brown, I learned that this self-protection armor is probably the biggest threat to one’s path to happiness. We tend to avoid situations that might bring joy and help to the fear of loss. 

Living in a social media world, I am not referring to opening my most significant concerns on Twitter or Instagram – not at all. 

I mean, life comes in a bundle of great and sad things – happiness and frustrations. We all have to go through them at some point. Perfect happiness and continuous unhappiness are unreal. Disengaging from the ones around us is dangerous because it can numb one’s pain, but it will also numb one from the joy.

But how can we allow ourselves to show up? How can we feel comfortable in sharing our flaws? Only if we can enable ourselves to be vulnerable, and that’s hard.

Brené Brown wisely refers to having a strong back, which is the courage to show up and be seen; with a soft front, allow us to be curious and experiment with new things. To do that, we need to build a magic circle that I call the chain of trust.

We live in a moment of scarcity and constant changes. We rely on people we trust during difficult times. 

We all had to reinvent our lives due to the pandemic and connect only with people in our inner circle. We have re-learned how to play, study, work, and live – adapting and doing everything differently—all that in less than one year. 

If any person had told me two years ago that everyone worldwide would need to restructure their habits and lifestyle, I would have said, “No, impossible.” We’ve recently heard that social distancing and masks mandates shall be in effect until the end of 2021, which means a few more months of carrying on ahead. 

The Skills

Courage, Resilience, and Persistence. These three skills, combined with my spiritual practice, have been critical for my mental sanity this past year. They all require self-discipline and will. 

Courage means living by my values, building trust with the ones I care about, and learning to stand up after a setback. That all takes resilience and persistence.

I have been lucky to be supported by people I love, respect, and who inspire me, but I had to show up and share my vulnerable side first, getting out of my comfort zone to build trust with each of them before asking for help.

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”― Theodore Roosevelt

The Little, Great Magic

The magic happens when we are surrounded by people who care about us — the human connection is vital energy, and love is the secret sauce of happiness. We step in and stay in the arena together.

Together, we look for simple answers to complex situations. Walking in the field together, we judge less; don’t crave punishment for ourselves or others because we know how it feels to wear armor and face our most significant fears.

When anxiety levels are exploding, let’s remember to be kind to each other; this is a historical moment of uncertainty. It brings fear and emotional pain.

We can brave the wilderness, and it gets easier if we do it together.

Thank you, Brené Brown! You rock!

Yours truly,

Hope

We don’t rise to our goals’ highest aspiration; we fall because of the smallest weakness. – Brené Brown

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