I know our lives are not a dream, but we can make it better if we want to.
At times, we may choose to carry on pain, fear, self-doubt, and sometimes fill our days with: “I can’t, I did that, I suck on this, I tried, I wish, I don’t have, or maybe one day … blah, blah, blah. Why we, the smartest living creatures on this planet consciously choose to do that?
I am a Scorpio. I know this sign comes with the stigma of being dominant, very sensitive, critical, and passionate. Above all, I see myself as an intense person.
I am never comfortable settling for an average result. When I aim something, I am all in to win.
That comes with an extra-weight of self-pressure, high expectations, and a need to control every tiny bit of the situation. I naturally focus on what can be improved instead of celebrating what has been done right.
Until lupus came uninvited.
About 6 years ago, near my birthday, I felt the weight of the word lupus for the first time. The bundle that it brings combines muscle and joint pain, the feeling of impotence, exhaustion, and above all, frustration.
Practicing Self Awareness is something I have been trying to do for the past year. Understand my new life goals and emotions better, has been critical to be more content in the present moment.
How I perceive something directly impacts my physical wellbeing. My thoughts can make my mind fly at 100 miles per hour, and trap me in non-sense beliefs that can trigger all sorts of pain. The sense of lack of control increases my stress level and makes me feel impotent.
I feel empowered and stronger when I choose my thoughts and emotions thoughtfully. Being self-aware means being able to take on what is right for me and discard what is not.