I am a Scorpio. I know this sign comes with the stigma of being dominant, very sensitive, critical, and passionate. Above all, I see myself as an intense person.
I am never comfortable settling for an average result. When I aim something, I am all in to win.
That comes with an extra-weight of self-pressure, high expectations, and a need to control every tiny bit of the situation. I naturally focus on what can be improved instead of celebrating what has been done right.
Until lupus came uninvited.
About 6 years ago, near my birthday, I felt the weight of the word lupus for the first time. The bundle that it brings combines muscle and joint pain, the feeling of impotence, exhaustion, and above all, frustration.
Talking to a friend this week, we remembered how many things we have been through in the past few years. How our lives took a completely different turn since we left school, and we are not where we thought we would be.
Thinking about the past brings good and bad memories, and reminds me of how everything has its time in our lives.
Lots of experiences, and people who seemed to be so relevant, suddenly became memories. Familiar places that don’t exist anymore, people I love who passed away.
Happiness, sorrows, wins, and disappointments, almost everything ended at some point.
I am so used to live the present moment, that some times I forget to focus on what is critical instead of what is urgent. The day-to-day habit and challenges can quickly fill up my hours, and I overlook the right things to spend my energy on.
This week, I was talking to a friend of mine whose mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. This came as a surprise for her family who lives in Asia, and suddenly this girl who is based in the States, had to make a last-minute decision: stay here with her son and husband or fly back to her home country to be with her mom, not knowing when she can return.